Seeing beyond the haze

So many things that I wasn't able to see clearly & understand before..

I think about "The Little Prince" What he meant by: "Voici mon secret. Il est très simple: on ne voit bien qu'avec le coeur. L'essentiel est invisible pour les yeux. (And now here is my secret, a very simple secret: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.)

I always thought about these lines as somewhat regressive and sentimentalist. Whenever I feel regressive and sentimental I agreed a great deal, but at other times I refused that such a thing as "heart" does exist. Heart is blood pumping organ. Everything goes on in the brain. But then who really can say that the Little Prince meant "the heart", the cardiovascular organ itself? Heart is the essence of the knowledge and thoughts we glean upon the earth during our stay. The eyes see things as they are, the brain inadvertantly calculates and compiles the knowledge in relationship to the others, creating thoughts.

But what is the essence of thoughts? How do they relate to who we are? What good is the clarity of "thought" if it means nothing else other than something unto its own? What good is thinking for its own sake? What good is understanding without realizing? What is the point of "knowing" unless it changes who we are?

Maybe it is because I only trusted my eyes and my intellect, I didn't grasp the essence of things that I knew. I failed to see the truth behind what I already knew. I crunched the numbers and data, I've compiled the thoughts and knowledge but didn't know what to do with them.

"The knowledge without love is a burden to heart." Love or heart, essence or realization, I have carried the burden of truth for far too long without letting it reflect on my existence. What was essential was invisible to my eyes and my thoughts.

I only realized it after the storm, when everything settled, and now it's all becoming clearer to me, although the "punishment" im getting doesn't fit the crime..

I just wish I didn't have to lose someone so important in order to gain the lesson. It shouldn't have to be that way..

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