Encontros e desencontros..
Dear blog (how cheesy does THAT sound?)It’s been a while since i last wrote, and a lot has happened ever since.During this period, my sister came to Sweden for a visit, my Swedish cousin got married , I Turned 25, and just a few days ago my beloved Greek friends returned to their country.Firstly, I am thriller that my sister is here. It feels like she never left, but at the same time it hurts to acknowledge the fact that she is soon returning to Brazil. Farewells have never been my forte. Every summer it’s a farewell, and it hits me hard every time. How can I love someone so much? How can I carry on being completely happy if she is not around? I can’t…On another note, I finally met Niclas (for real) - and that was such a pleasant and warm surprise. I Think Becca & Niclas are like 2 jellybeans in a goody bag - Sweet, funny and oh so colorful. I don’t want to seem like an intrusive & clingy extended family, but I wish we could hang out more! Just the other day, I turned 25. It hasn’t quite hit me yet, but the number 25 carries a heavy connotation. I am not sure I fit into the “25” mold just yet. 25 briefly means to me a 5 years to 30 its now or never grow up get a grip of your life you cant get away with student discounts for so much longer. And your regenerative cells are about to slow down and its down hill from here don’t forget your night cream. I have always been the kid in the family, that is my role and it’s always been a part of my persona, I am the young looking one, the one most don’t take seriously, the one who gets comments such as: “You look like you’re 19, 20 tops!” . I’ve accepted that. Yes, it is a part of me, but it isn’t entirely me. I am so much more, as are all my siblings. There is so much more to them, and I wish I knew them better outside the family role.Furthermore, my wonderful Greek friends have left Uppsala. We spent a great farewell outdoor “party”, and a few hrs later we took them to the airport. I honestly didn’t think I would have gotten this sad, because I have experienced this the exact period last year, with Lolo, Andrew & the French . Nothing will ever beat the sadness I felt last year as I saw them depart, but this year, it hurts as well, and I feel so much love for these people , even though I met a few just about a month ago). It feels like we still have so much to experience together, to get to know each other more thoroughly. I am looking forward to this.On the other hand, I will be seeing my Greek malakas in about 7 weeks!!!!!!!!! I am flying to Greece for 2 weeks and It is such a nice feeling to meet the ones who you shared your life for 6 months with, in another set, in another world. That is when you know the friendship has lasted beyond an Erasmus program.This is the story of my life, all the ones who matter to me live abroad (most of them) - and I wish I had a more stable social life, but It is how it is. It’s hard to live this way, and it’s about time for things to change. It’s time for me to be the one who leaves as well….Let it be France, Greece, Brazil or Colombia……There is so much freedom in this country, and that Is one thing I highly appreciate and will definitely take advantage of. So for now I have no roots, nor do I know where I really want to be. I wish I could study in Greece and be with my friends, I wish I could be in Brazil and be with my sizzle and experience our country together and make fun of the most mundane things. I wish I was with Alfie in Colombia, because despite of our awful break up, we still feel like things have been left unfinished. I wish I was in France, a country which I have grown to admire and feel a connection with…… I wish I knew which was best for me.On another note, my cousin got married this past 24th of May in Stockholm. This was definitely a twilight zone for me. Am I next? Should I be next? Do I want to be next? No. I don’t think so. I am such a nomad soul at the moment that I don’t think I will be experiencing anything soul shaking in the next 2 years at least - there is simply no space for this, only if I met a nomad like me. I was truly happy to see him wed his genuinely nice wife, Madeleine. The wedding was fantastic and his brothers speech almost made me cry, because I know that some day I will be standing up there giving a speech to my sister, Becca, and I will completely shake like the funky chicken, cry my heart out as if the world was ending, Mexican soap opera- style of course. Oh, how dreadful!!!!!!! (yet so sweet, if I manage to finish a whole sentence without looking like a hot mess). I am already mentally preparing myself for this event .For now, I have one last week with my sizzle, and I will not think of the sadness that will dawn upon me as she leaves, because it will spoil the great days and nights we will spend together. I will handle that after she’s gone. But for now, too many unflattering pictures will be taken, too many pointless videos will be shot, too much alcohol will provide a great level of A.D.D and the occasional random comments will have us laughing for years to come…Life's exactly that. Encounters and disencounters. Sometimes we miss eachother, sometimes we are separated, then intertwined once again...For now, one part of my heart cries, to the other one that smiles…
