LOVE

Have you ever been in love? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. Nobody should ever have to go through that.

But then again, to let someone in, is a risk in itself - and I'd rather risk, than not at all. I don't want to live with "what if's" - and nobody should.

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This song is dedicated for the people who make me feel better :

My sister, Josy, Danielle, Jojo, Lolo & A.J plus Linus and the sweet exchange students (the french clan) who hang with our group a million times a week :D

"Somehow We´ll make it cause that´s what we do.
Something I felt when love is your only friend and
We are the ones that will make you feel better
Someone to spare when love is the only end
We are the ones that will make you feel better.."

@)--'--,---

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IF YOU COULD SEE ME..

What do you see when you look at her? A star waiting to rise? A poison with no cure?
An angel without wings? She’s not as bad as you think.
She just wants to be loved. She makes her mistakes. Just like anyone else. Her actions might be deceitful. But she’s really just afraid. Her lips might not grace yours. But she really wants them to.
You think you can read her like a book, but you're not as good as you think.
There are a million things she is is but doesn't let show directly. She doesn’t always open up.
Then again, she’s not quiet either. You’ll never just figure her out that fast. You’re going to have to wait, until she finally breaks down. Until the day you let her in. So give her some time. Because time is everything.
Don’t jump to conclusions. She might seem a little lost, but she’s just looking for a way out...a way to become a better person.

[Temporarely under construction/In search for the rainbow]


Everything in it's right time everything in it's right place

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" Your life is your life - don’t let it be clubbed into dank submission.
Be on the watch, there are ways out.
There is a light somewhere. It may not be much light but it beats the darkness."

-The Laughing Heart; Charles Bukowski

If I could start again a million miles away..

Anything, everything I have, or will, I would give, for one chance, a window, a crack..for change.

Our time, no longer is found, amid pieces of life to be sewn. They have been placed, inside the fabric of the past, with no chance to rearrange.

A wise man is said to have little heart, only a fool loves for love. I would rather spend all my life being a fool, with your love than all the wisdom of the world, and beyond, without it.

Am I running in circles, or running in place? Missing my dreams, or trampling them at my feet?

My mind shouts that I must say goodbye. But my heart sobs, for our hearts to be together. Tormented by the very dreams that I crafted with delicate care, chasing ghosts, delusional possibilities, of a forgotten chance. But as life has proven itself to be, it always goes on..

Inevitable, cruel, zero, it counts up to countdown, from beginning to end. It has, always will, and promises to forever be, because we believe so.

Until the day we do things right, the slow and finished way. Until we work with our hearts and with our minds, then and only then, will we forget time, and remember love. That, is a future we can one day have, to cherish.
And as tears dry, and the memories fade to dreams, we as life move on, somehow bettered, changed, and different. We love, we think, we decide, we grieve, we change, we live, we heal but above all, we hope..

Life is sometimes not ready, but we are, and here we go, love is always present, but sometimes our hearts are not.

Let the spring sun shed light & warmth back into our hearts now.

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Nostalgia


Happiness
Coming and going..

[Remembering good times]
Julia, me and Franco circa dec.05 - Uppsala/Flogsta

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Övriga tankar

Vad ska vi då göra med den lilla tid vi har att leva? Personligen så försöker jag leva som en god människa, inte skada andra, inte vara elak, snål och osympatisk.... utan tvärtom, glädja andra, sympatisera, vara en god lyssnare, helt enkelt hjälpa dom jag kan och leva ett gott liv så att jag sen när jag ligger på min dödsbädd kan tänka tillbaka på mitt liv och veta att jag har varit en god människa och gjort gott för mig under mitt liv, då kan jag dö i frid.

Dessvärre så finns det människor som inte kan ta emot sådana här saker, saker så simpla som vänskap, kärlek och mildhet. Utan som istället ger tillbaka ondska, elakhet, smärta... Varför vill man skada en annan människa? Är det rätt att bara för att man själv råkat illa ut ska göra så andra råkar illa ut? Är det rätt att skada andra bara för att dom har nåt man själv vill ha? Nej det tycker jag inte, och jag kan inte förstå mig på folk som tycker det.

Jag älskar rymden, det är så oändligt, och färgerna är så himla vackra. Att ligga och skåda upp i evigheten en vacker klar kväll slår nog det mesta. eller jo att ligga med en underbar kille som man tycker om är nog väldigt trevligt.. Ge mig ett rymdskepp som jag kan ta mig ut i rymden med och jag lämnar allt här på jorden. Tänk att få se andra stjärnor, civilisationer & galaxer...

ps Det här inlägget är inget personligt påhopp, bara övriga tankar. ds

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