Moments

Wifeys dancing on bar counter @ La Be
Sept. 08

The Aixperience so far...

A few weeks into my year abroad in France, I am finally settling into all things french. Now it really does feel that this is my home, and there is no return ticket to Sweden. Funny feeling.
I am enjoying my stay, and I am incredibly lucky and thankful to have gotten here. Some people know how important this is to me.

My weeks have been filled with intense outings, moments of lost in translation, cultural clashes and cosy studiy evenings at the tea house/shisha bar. There is so much to take in. So many new faces, internal jokes, photos, moments, conversations, songs and so on...Everything is a new impression and a new memory.

But its at this very period after the moment one has finally settled, is when reality kicks in.
Out with the old, in with the new. A new life or a complete new start. We are all in it for different reasons and different quests.

My past is still in my present, for the fact that i do not consider it my past in the first place. It is very much alive, like a fire burning inside. And it is my choice, afterall. I cannot, nor will I simply switch it off.

We certainly die many small deaths throughout life but I beg any higher force to keep this one alive.

I am beginning to miss the familiar. I miss sunday breakfast at home with my family for example, and failing royally in getting my sister out of bed.

There is a certain soothing feeling that goes along with the daily routine I lived in Sweden. I know this is simply a common phase everyone goes through as they move abroad, though.

I miss the affection and the closeness I have with certain people who are far away now. I need a hug, and anybodies hug here wont quite do it for me. So I lay in my new bed, hoping this phase will soon pass...

Surely I dont miss certain things, but I do feel like I am lacking an important piece.

One of the biggest mysteries in life for me, is that It will never make any sense to me as into why should good things end. It is a death that refuses to die in me.

As the weeks and months come along, things will get better and eventually I will find inner peace in this foreign country. However, none of this will ever come close nor be able to compete in the same category as what you gave me, P. You definetly appeared in my life when I least expected and you taught me so much; I am not sure you are aware.

I would change all of this, in a heart beat, if i could have you in my life, other than virtually.
I want January now! Can you blame me?


I rely that time will give me the answers that I search, and that sometimes we really do have to take a day at a time and enjoy what is given to us.
This experience is temporary; some people are not.

Everything in its right time, everything in its right place. I truly believe in this.

SAUDADES, PORRA! Mas eu aguento...

Bonne nuit et a tout!

This is what you represent to me:

A piece of Brazil & a piece of Sweden combined into a warm wandering soul of a wolf.
Sweetly mixed together, creating a private universe within you.......

which evokes a great impact in the private universe within me.