Anja & Ale doing a hilarious fashion show/theater play in the living room.
I love this one picture...!

Zurich
April 2008

You decide your own fate

For the past 1 year and a half I have experienced all sorts of love catastrophies. It feels like I have been having a love affair with the world abroad.

I would like to believe I have done my best, but now I am beginning to question If I have actually taken a roll in my own life or merely left "destiny to show me the way".

Have I done all I could? Was I part of the public or did I take a leading part in my own story?

I don't believe in fate or destiny. I used to find it to be a soothing philosophy which got me through the difficulties I came across, but now I find myself quite fed up with the fact that I cannot sit and wait for life to happen to me or even less, feel sorry for myself.

We are the sum of our decisions, and what is to come is a result of our actions. It is as simple as that.

Of all the persons I have met, I only knew one who could have given it all up for me. He didn't see obstacles, but possibilities. Solutions, not problems. However, I royally burned my bridges with that one. My comet.

Of course I did.....

I think of my sister when I get myself into these situations - when I meet lovely people but who are not from Sweden, or who are not here to stay. And she took a leap of faith and left the country for a boy. Her smile let's me know it was all worth it. This brings me hope, and inspiration......

I know this is something very people do, but you decide your own fate. Sometimes you fail, sometimes you succeed. If you don't dedicate yourself to it, what can you possibly expect back? Destiny won't happen to you. It surely is a nice thought, and I do believe hope is a strong source of energy which keeps us going, but it isn't enough.


I guess what takes people like this to take such huge chances is that they have simply met the right person who is worth the risk and of course, who have a different life philosophy than most of us have - they don't let the obstacles get in the way, and above all, they listen to their intuition. Rarely do I meet people who listen to their own intuition.
I myself have been in that situation. I couldn't possibly have moved overseas, but if both are at least in the same continent, I wouldn't turn my back on the opportunity to fight for it.

Some of us don't have a strong enough character to put so much effort into these matters, which for me, is one of the biggest tragedies in life. But such are people. We are all different.

I am not naiv and I am quite scared myself, but I haven't met anyone but 1 who has a stubborn will power like me. I know it's anything but easy, but I'd rather suffer and try, than live wondering over the eternal "what if's". Unfortunately, it does take 2 to tango to make anything work.

As i am left with no other choice than wait, hoping that "destiny" shall bring me to you. And even that is an uncertainty. This goes against all my beliefs.

Remember, this is my psychobabble blog which I use for therapeutical purposes ONLY, so please don't expect this to make any sense at all........


This too, shall pass... But for now, I chose to keep you in my heart until there is no hope left.





/ little γάτα

Take one boy from the South,
And one girl from the North
Put them in a large bowl,
But don’t let them touch yet.

Add two computers with a dash of Instant Messenger,
Two cell phones,
And two webcams.
Whisk together.

Stir in a pinch of inside jokes,
Three heaping cupfuls of laughter,
And two hearts.

Mix in 1/3 teaspoon of longing,
1/3 teaspoon of loneliness
And ¾ of a cup of like.

Now blend in a plane ticket,
Five tablespoons of syrupy anxiety,
And a generous shake of shyness.

Gently fold in twenty chocolate kisses,
And thirty sweet-smelling hugs.
Add as much as you like, to taste.

Set the timer to “Warm”
And bake until pink and golden.
Then coat the top with a layer of love,
Sprinkled with insecurity.

Switzerland, here I come!

It's 2am in the morning and I have just finished packing for my trip down to Switzerland for some down time with family & for some snowboarding.
I will be away until the 27th, hopefully you won't miss me too much :) (I am guessing not, as no one EVER comments on my posts - bad, bad people!!!)


A few shout outs:

I'd like to wish a happy birthday to Kostis aka DOULOS as well, who has his birthday today =(^..^)= ; all my love to Louise (i know you are reading this, Aixchange star :)); to Alfie..always in my heart, and always your bucket!
And last but not least, my sister Rebecca, who is my everlasting inspiration...Longing to see you again in June. I can't possibly wait so much longer!!!!

Despite of all these emotional rollercoasters - which seem never ending, life is pretty good. I can't complain.
Just tired of having all these great friends and people I've been meeting so far away from me......It makes me sad, but on the other hand I am happy to have met them.

The light in the end of the tunnel may be temporarely shut down until further notice, but I'm still here - Hoping, fighting, living. (This sounds awfully pretentious but it's true for all of us)


Everything in its right time, everything in it's right place - right?

Good night world.

xoxo

/gitx

Gitx and her 3 little greek malakas
Uppsala April 2008

David Lachapelle

David Lachapelle is in Stockholm - ch..ch..cheeck it out!
Fotografiska museet @ Nacka Strand, 12 april – 11 may.

The comet of my life

Alfie

This song says it all. It's different, it's personal, it's like nothing else, really. And the lyrics speak by themselves. We can all relate to this one, can't we?

Soko- I'll kill her

So, of course, you were supposed to call me tonight
you were supposed to call me tonight
we would have gone to the cinema
and, after, to the restaurant, the one you like in your street

we would have slept together, have a nice breakfast together
and then a walk in a park together, how beautiful, and then
you would have said "i love you" in the cutest place on earth
where some butterflies are dancing with the fairies

i would have waited like a week or two
but you never tried to reach me
no, you never called me back
you were dating that bleach-blonde girl
if i find her, i swear, i swear...

i'll kill her, i'll kill her
she stole my future, she broke my dream
i'll kill her, i'll kill her
she stole my future when she took you away

i would have met your friends, we would have had a drink or two
they would have liked me, 'cause sometimes i'm funny
i would have met your dad, i would have met your mum
she would have said "please, can you make some beautiful babies?"

so we would have had a boy called tom and a girl called susan, born in japan

i thought it was a love story, but you don't want to get involved
i thought it was a love story, but you're not ready for that ...

me neither. i'll kill her
she stole my future, she broke my dream
i'll kill her, i'll kill her
she stole my future when she took you away

she's a bitch you know, all she's got is blondeness
not even tenderness, yeah, she's cleverless
she'll dump your arse for a model called brendan
he will pay for beautiful surgery 'cause he's full of money

i would have waited like a week or two
but you never tried to reach me
no, you never called me back
you were dating that bleach-blonde girl
if i find her, i swear, you know, i swear, i swear ...

i'll kill her, i'll kill her
she stole my future, she broke my dream
i'll kill her, i'll kill her
she stole my future when she took you away
i'll kill her, i'll kill her
she stole my future, she broke my dream
i'll kill her, i'll kill her
she stole my future when she took you away

man, i told you, you know, if i find her,
i really, i, i mean, i'll kill her, for real!
it's like for sure, you have to know, uh,
i mean, you know, i can do it, man,
i'll kill her.

My favorite street wall in Aix-en-Provence