The process of getting to know someone (romantically speaking) and dealing with the feelings that are developing right in front of you is an art hard to master.

I can honestly say I am not an easy person to deal with when found in such a situation.

I am in constant conflict with logic and feelings. I go left, I go right. I jump into it in a split second, and I run away as fast as I can. All of this, all at once.

No, i am no easy match. In truth, I do not always understand my sudden reactions either.

First and foremost, my main concern is to manage to balance the excess impulse of my nature. Part of me wants to express what I really feel and go for it. The other side of me is less of a Juliet - I can be as brutal as an elephant and become cold towards the person. This usually happens when I realize i've become very consumed by feelings towards them. It is an uneasy feeling when you dont know where you stand with the person you like, and what they really mean to you. This is a common protective-of-self behaviour.

Trying to let go of past ghosts and adopt a healthier attitude towards love is a slow process, but not hopeless. I am trying.

Less Juliet, more Margit.

Now I know why I became so deeply impacted by my former relation:

It is not the fall that killed me. It was the sudden stop.

And there you have it. Loud and clear.