You decide your own fate

For the past 1 year and a half I have experienced all sorts of love catastrophies. It feels like I have been having a love affair with the world abroad.

I would like to believe I have done my best, but now I am beginning to question If I have actually taken a roll in my own life or merely left "destiny to show me the way".

Have I done all I could? Was I part of the public or did I take a leading part in my own story?

I don't believe in fate or destiny. I used to find it to be a soothing philosophy which got me through the difficulties I came across, but now I find myself quite fed up with the fact that I cannot sit and wait for life to happen to me or even less, feel sorry for myself.

We are the sum of our decisions, and what is to come is a result of our actions. It is as simple as that.

Of all the persons I have met, I only knew one who could have given it all up for me. He didn't see obstacles, but possibilities. Solutions, not problems. However, I royally burned my bridges with that one. My comet.

Of course I did.....

I think of my sister when I get myself into these situations - when I meet lovely people but who are not from Sweden, or who are not here to stay. And she took a leap of faith and left the country for a boy. Her smile let's me know it was all worth it. This brings me hope, and inspiration......

I know this is something very people do, but you decide your own fate. Sometimes you fail, sometimes you succeed. If you don't dedicate yourself to it, what can you possibly expect back? Destiny won't happen to you. It surely is a nice thought, and I do believe hope is a strong source of energy which keeps us going, but it isn't enough.


I guess what takes people like this to take such huge chances is that they have simply met the right person who is worth the risk and of course, who have a different life philosophy than most of us have - they don't let the obstacles get in the way, and above all, they listen to their intuition. Rarely do I meet people who listen to their own intuition.
I myself have been in that situation. I couldn't possibly have moved overseas, but if both are at least in the same continent, I wouldn't turn my back on the opportunity to fight for it.

Some of us don't have a strong enough character to put so much effort into these matters, which for me, is one of the biggest tragedies in life. But such are people. We are all different.

I am not naiv and I am quite scared myself, but I haven't met anyone but 1 who has a stubborn will power like me. I know it's anything but easy, but I'd rather suffer and try, than live wondering over the eternal "what if's". Unfortunately, it does take 2 to tango to make anything work.

As i am left with no other choice than wait, hoping that "destiny" shall bring me to you. And even that is an uncertainty. This goes against all my beliefs.

Remember, this is my psychobabble blog which I use for therapeutical purposes ONLY, so please don't expect this to make any sense at all........


This too, shall pass... But for now, I chose to keep you in my heart until there is no hope left.





/ little γάτα