THE GRASS ISN'T GREENER..

I should be in bed. Actually, come to think of it, I should a million things, but I don't. I was lying down in my bed, but instead of relaxing my mind, I began to process all the feelings and thoughts I have had lately. So this is what I have been thinking about lately . I am only 23 and I want it all, but I'm not quite sure If I can trust those urges. At this age, what do we really know? Do we only live by our impulses at this point of our lives and believE they are the absolut truths which will lead us to have it all?

Alright, I haven't been specific enough. I want it all, I want the security of a relationship. I want the boring, stable, full of routine hang-ups, small argues, grown but fun, rock hard commitment, nothing can separate us, unconditional adventurous trusting relationship.
I'm only 23, but do I really want that? I cant help but wonder what is making me feel and think this way.
However on the outlook of my life as it is now, none of the above will happen in the near future. Things never turn out the way we expect, so maybe it is true, we can't completely control our destinies..

Why does it have to be so hard to have it all at the age of 23? I think culture and society sets our priorities for every phase of our lives. So if I should follow the norm, I should be single, persuading my studies to 100%, meeting an endless amount of people spending my late nights walking barefoot with complete strangers and exchanging my most inner thoughts with these. Breaking hearts - not keeping any. Moving on. Moving forward. Moving so fast our shadows can't keep up..
So I ask myself again, "Why can't I have this and have it all at the same time?" - who said it isnt possible? Should I accept it the way it is? Is that the right thing to do? What the hell..I resign these norms! They are only made up to control our inner voices and possibilities.

I don't want the control and why should you?

I will quote BEFORE SUNRISE once again, because it fits in this topic so perfectly:


Celine: I guess when you're young, you just believe there'll be many people with whom you'll connect with. Later in life, you realize it only happens a few times.
Jesse: And you can screw it up, you know, misconnect.




The grass isnt greener on the other side..