Nausea

Let's give this a try and write down all these thoughts on my imaginary blog papper.

Before I get started, let me tell you that I have been having this uneasy feeling inside. I don't know exactly what is cooking up in my brain, but I have avoided posting my latest thoughts over here.

I am not sure If I am judging myself before hand and avoiding this situation, or If I am simply feeling missunderstood by the ones who read my posts.  So I just let it be.

Let me remind you that, I have never had a problem on being brutally honest on my blog. But now, I've hit a dead-end street.

Nothing out of the extraordinary has happened, nor have I reached any remarkable milestone. 

Maybe I am the type who eternally remains in a twilight zone.

I don't feel like anything I write down makes any sense, and the people who know me may also see me in a complete different light than what the reality really depicts. THIS, scares me. It makes me feel vulnerable. On the other hand, maybe I don't want to see my own reflection through my words being written at this very moment. I think I have reached a point where I am in my own island and yet I have no GPS to find my way around here. 

I feel that I should not be what I am at this point in my life. I feel way too young for my age and the whole idea where I believed I was a very open person does not make justice to my reality.

Have I really shut you out, my friends? I feel like I am hiding, yet I have nothing to hide. Why have this uneasy feeling been lurking around for so long?

I am not exactly sure If i succeeded in throwing up my nauseating thoughts, but this is all I manage to get out of the system.

For now, It's all I got, till I figure if all of this is an issue I have with myself or with how the rest of the world sees. Am I on to something here?

Quero, terei. Se não aqui, Noutro lugar que inda não sei. Nada perdi. Tudo serei. —Pessoa